kimschlotwrites

I lost everything because of him. Family, friends, even jobs. I lost my happiness, and quite honestly, I lost my will to live because of him.

It started when I was 19. A lot of people rolled their eyes, thinking I was still just a kid and didn’t know what I was getting myself into to. I didn’t pay them any mind. I was an adult. Old enough to vote, serve in the military, smoke, and buy a lottery ticket.

My loved ones told me that he changed me, that I was a different person when I was with him. A person they didn’t like. But again, I didn’t listen. I didn’t care. I was loyal to him.

There were a few times when I thought he was going to kill me. I’d tell everyone that we were done. But, I think we all knew that I couldn’t stay away. He had this hold on me. He was there when I wanted him or needed him. He was reliable like that.

Sometimes I think back to that time, and ask myself, Who abused who? Was it a chicken and an egg thing? Was I bad because of him? Or was he bad because of me?

Thankfully, I was able to rid myself of him. He’s out of my life completely. It’s been two years. Exactly two years. I’m not going to lie, it hasn’t been an easy two years. There were so many times when I wanted to crawl back to him. I told myself that one night wouldn’t mean anything. Then I remembered the other relationships that I was trying to mend, and I would do something else to keep my mind occupied.

So, here I am. Two years sober. Thank you all for supporting me. I said it before, I’ll say it again. I’m Heather, and I’m an alcoholic.