kimschlotwrites | Week 4: Ghosting

The following is the introduction in the Your Beginning After Life textbook. It is the required textbook for Ghosting 101.

Introduction

A note from the author: When I started my ghost training, the text we read was so dry and boring. It’s a big reason I went into ghost education and not haunting. The old-time authors made everything boring. I knew there was something more exciting, more amusing than what was being captured in those books. That’s why this one is different. There’s jokes, there’s sarcasm. There is something to get excited about.

ghost

/gōst/

noun

an apparition of a dead person that is believed to appear or become manifest to the living, typically as a nebulous image.

What you hold in your hand is the very first step to becoming a ghost.

Before getting into what is in store for you in the pages of this book, we do have something very important to address. You are now dead. Most of you that are reading this already know this. However, there will be a decent amount of you who do not realize this. You may think you’re dreaming, or in a coma. You may think that you’re hallucinating. But you’re not. I can guarantee you that you are dead. I’m sorry you had to find out like this.

The good news is that life can go on. Albeit in a vastly different way. This book will show you the various options available to you now. Each chapter will outline a different type of ghost that you can be.

Here are some of the Ghost types you’ll read about in this book.

The first Chapter focuses on The Lingering Ghost. The Lingering Ghost is one who wants to keep an eye on their family or friends after death. For the most part, no one knows that the Lingering Ghost is there, but there are two exceptions.

The first, is scent. As a Lingering Ghost you are permitted to release a scent no more than three times a month that will automatically remind your loved ones of you.

The second is Imaginary Friend. An Imaginary Friend is a type of Lingering Ghost that children can communicate with. Yes. I see the wheels turning in your now non-existent brains. (Please, take no offense to that. We’re dead. None of us have brains anymore.) You’re thinking back to your childhood. Trying to remember your imaginary friends. What ghost could that have been? Here’s a little spoiler, it may not have been a ghost. It could have just been your imagination. Not all imaginary friends are ghosts. You can read about this in more detail in Chapter 1.

In Chapter 4, you will learn about being a Homestead Ghost. These are the ones that will haunt a particular place. Most ghosts choose to haunt the place that they died, but you can haunt pretty much anywhere that had a significance in your living life.

This chapter focuses on the more agreeable Homestead Ghosts. These may create a breeze throughout the house when wind is still. Or be able to stomp around. These ghosts can be seen by the living for very short periods of time.

Please note, if you’re looking for information on the aggressive Homestead Ghosts in the movies, the ones that terrorizes the homeowners, and eventually driven out by seances or clergy, that will be covered briefly in Chapter 5. We don’t condone being that type of spirit, but there are no laws against it.

When you get to Chapter 9, you will read about the Prankster Ghost. This one is one of my favorites. Like the Lingering Ghost, this one will stay with his or her friends and family. However, the Prankster ghost will do little things to interact with the living. Some examples are: hiding keys or other small objects, taking a sock from the dryer, and giving them the sensation that their phone is vibrating in their pocket.

That was just a few types of ghosts that you’ll read about in the rest of the book. As I stated earlier, each chapter explains a different type of spirit that you can be when you finish your After Life Schooling.

At the end of the course, you will decide which apparition type you want to pursue. If after completing this textbook you are still unsure of what path you want to take, feel free to take our assessment quiz. It will tell you what form of haunting, if any, is right for you.

You are not obligated to remain the same type of spirit for eternity. This is not a life—or death—sentence.

Happy Ghosting!

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

From:

adoptedwriter

"This is not a life—or death—sentence." Good one! This was fun to read! I once lived in a "haunted " place. I can relate to a lot of this. My grandma must've been cross-trained in scents, pranks, and lingering.

kimschlotwrites

Thank you!

Sound like your grandmother took her After Life studies very seriously. lol

static_abyss

What a fun response to the prompt! That introduction definitely made me want to read that Ghosting 101 book.

Thank you!

tatdatcm

Fantastic interpretation of the prompt! I really enjoyed the humor in it and the creativity of the different types of ghosts.

tjoel2

Reminds me of The Handbook for the Recently Deceased in Beetlejuice!

I completely forgot about that! That was the boring one the writer was referring to. lol

halfshellvenus

you are dead. I’m sorry you had to find out like this.
Hahaha!

I love the name "Homestead" ghost because it has such an old-fashioned air to it, though it doesn't have to be.

Imaginary friends... Are they? Who really knows now?

Thank you!

I wonder if my imaginary friends were ghosts.

kehlen.livejournal.com

Ooh, I love it how you classify ghosts, and how you use them to reimagine other unusual occurrences!

the_eternal_overthinker

Ah! This is very creative and thanks for the chuckles while I read them. I enjoyed this thoroughly... I especially liked the Imaginary friend part.Amazing take on the prompt! Well done

bleodswean

Hee! This was cleverly written and amusing. Your last line is fantastic!

bsgsix

This is so intriguing, fun, clever, and it absolutely held my interest. Well written! Also, I laughed at the "you're dead. Sorry you had to find out like this." That is just so wonderful and clever. Great!

Thank you! It was actually that line that made me go back to add the “Author’s Note.” I kept thinking it didn’t sound like a text book. lol Wait. Does admitting that take away from the entry? I may take that back. lol

No, I actually really liked that line! I wouldn't take it back; I thought it flowed nicely with the tone of the piece. This is fantastic as-is. So admitting it doesn't take away from the entry in the slightest! If it did, I promise I'd tell you. But it doesn't. This is truly great! :)